Thursday, March 31, 2005

The Taliban and religion in general

The Surreal Law School Life
Some of you wil be mad at me for saying this:

I believe that every member of the Taliban in Afganistan and all those sympathetic to their idealogy should be lined up, have their eyeballs scooped out of their head and skinned alive until the scream for death. The Taliban and their beliefs are evil incarnate. How can human beings be equal to the piss and manure and the floor of a barn

Don't get me started on other religions either...

Sorry, not very funny today, but I am so pissed at those assholes.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Ia m sleepy

The Surreal Law School Life

It is going to be a busy few days. I am so sleepy.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Sniper has been spotted

The Surreal Law School Life

My little cat is injured or sick, or perhaps just trying to get some attention. As I explained to someone, he doesn't get a trip to vet unless he is on his death bed, not if he just has the sniffles.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Only Law geeks need apply

The Surreal Law School Life

There was a young law student named Rex,
who had very small organs of sex,
When charged with exposure
he said with composure:
De minimis non curat lex.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Okay, so Gwen alone is aware of how this crap works

The Surreal Law School Life

Many of you, have been requesting a short anecdote on life in law school. Of the hundreds of emails and letters I receive each week, be assured that I try to answer each one personally but of course it is difficult. I want you all to know, whether you are writing from Scotland or simply down the street I read each and every one of your delightful letters and cards personally. Now, to show that I always provide for my colleagues, a short note on my surreal life in law school:

I recently had the opportunity to represent an obviously innocent client in court. The poor man's wife had had him charged with assault. Under Ontario law any assault that "smells" domestic must go to trial, regardless of the evidence or facts. On the day of the trial, the accused showed up with many family and friends to support him. His former commonlaw wife, who had accused him clearly in an attempt to get him in trouble with the law was no where to be found. The judge, because there was simply no evidence nor testimony against him accepted his plea of not guilty and sent him on his away. I of course was invited to celebrate with the friends and family of the accused and go to the near-by version of the Cecil in order to "get plastered" in "The big city" because, what the hell, "we had to take a day off of work anyway". Although I initially thought it a good idea, to get drunk with an only recently acquitted wife abuser, I changed my mind suddenly, when my clients brother walked into the courtroom following his brothers acquittal with a t-shirt displaying this endearing defense:

"Listen, bitch, tell your tits to stop gawking at me"

Ah, life in the fast lane

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

I think this technology is too new

The Surreal Law School Life

I don't think anyone realizes how these Blog sites work.

People - don't email me back, post your comments on the site!!!!

Monday, March 07, 2005

Not sick anymore, still think I am in need of a good drunk

The Surreal Law School Life

Okay, so I made everyone aware of "Blogging". I am expecting a long list of pornographic and vulgar comments to appear overnight. Many I believe will question my manhood, expecially those from Mark and Ian, and the rest will probably insist I stop wasting their time.


It is about time you all realized that I cannot be stopped.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

I am so sick of reading

I am sick. Plus I have to read about 300 pages of the most boring shit known to mankind. Now, if I read 20 pages an hour, on average and go for a 15 break every two hours, how many days will it take me to read this crap.

Answer: four wobbly pops.

The Surreal Law School Life

The Surreal Law School Life

Well, I feel like total shit, came down with a bugger of a cold. Stan Peake sent me this 21 page account of his life and only mentioned me twice. I am totally pissed and I think I'll remove him from my Christmas card list. Plus, you can forget about me going easy on you when I am on the Supreme court.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

The most recent guys I get wasted with Posted by Hello

DJ RedSkull and MC Skiz Posted by Hello

Day 1 of My Technological Advancement

Well, I figured it is time to enter the 21st century so my first addition to the advancement of mankind, my little piece of the writings that hopefully will last into the next millenium:

"Ass, fart, butt crack"

I must rest my mind